Dustin's ghostwriting skills at work

I work for a public relations agency here in Chicago. A couple months ago, one of my coworkers asked me if I knew of anyone we could pay to write a rap. Disregarding my failed, dirty gerund-filled raps from high school that sounded as if they were influenced by the bastard protégé of Too Short and B.G., I agreed to write the rap myself.

You all might remember this lady, Ellen Dow, as the old dame who did “Rappers Delight” in the Adam Sandler movie The Wedding Singer. So the schtick is that both she and Life Savers Wint-o-Green – one of the products we work with – turned 90 this year. The rap is supposed to contain equal parts product branding and nonagenarian braggadocio.

I churned out 16 bars that I could imagine an old white lady kicking out with relative ease, and the above video is the end product. This thing is supposed to go viral, and rumblings around the office is that Leno or Letterman have reached out, so here’s to possible bootleg fame. You can view the whole hookup at www.sparking90.com.

The royalty checks aren’t gonna be rolling in for this one, but I’m sure I’m knocking on the door of ghostwriting for Hove or such someday.