Tuesday, November 18, 2008

ER's first interactive blog: What does being in love mean to you?

My girl Lisa made a pretty good point: sitting at home all day allows for some interesting ruminations.

One topic occupied much of yesterday's thought processes: The meaning of "in love."

It made me curious about what other people think it means. Of course, I don't mean loving someone; like your mama, your child or your dog. I mean the true acknowledgment that you are all-consumingly in love, romantically, with one other person (or persons? Is this possible?).

I don't care if you come to this blog for the sex/relationship stuff, for the hip-hop or for both; please get at me with your three cents. It can be a word, a few words, a sentence or a whole damn essay if you please. Think about what being in love means to you, and drop me a line.

I look forward to reading what you have to say.


Anonymous said...

Being "in love" means taking on the responsibility of making someone else happy. Putting their needs parallel or in front of your own.

Anonymous said...

Ey, my nigga, let me break it down so that it may forever and consistently be BROKE. (aight, probably the most overused phrase ever, but fuck it...)

NOTE: I think I've broken down quite effectively the definition of the term "in love" in my last blog on myspace, titled The Most Important Blog You'll Ever Read. I hope that you've peeped it in its (albeit LENGTHY) entirety. But regardless, I'll comment freehand here.

I agree with the post above to a degree. However, I think use of the term responsibility is where the integrity of said statement is lost. But what rings true in it is that when someone is in love, they stop concerning themselves with what they want out of the relationship and begin to occupy their thoughts with subjects concerning what makes their partner happy. But--and this is KEY--this happens NATURALLY and effortlessly, it's not manufactured, forced or synthetic in any way. It's not a DUTY.

Those of us that come from a proper upbringing are taught how we're to treat our partner and there are very good lessons in there. However, there's such a large focus on making sure we make relationships WORK, we lose sight that each of us are better suited to certain types. Sometimes shit isn't SITUATED to work.

As stated in my blog, good person plus good person does not equate to a relationship that should be. Love is certainly not math.

Love is all about chemistry, pure and simple. Humans are complex beings, and love is going to shine at different intensities depending upon the compounds (you and said partner) in the formula. It's up to you to be HONEST with yourself and see where your love exists on the spectrum. When it's high on the spectrum, that's when you're at or reaching "in love" status.

And there's so much more to being in love as well. I HONESTLY think A LOT of people aren't going to be able to have very good comments on this topic because they simply haven't felt it. And there's a reason for it: being in love is RARE. But when you are in love, you won't know right away (love at first sight is some shallow BULLSHIT), but you WILL. There's no questioning if you're in love more than a year into a relationship.

At the risk of sounding corny, the connection you have with this person is on a level that you feel like this person was MADE for you. You share a level of intimacy you probably never though possible. Commitment when you're with this person is EASY. Passion is limitless, which encompasses more than just the bedroom but more along the lines of "I would DIE for you" and MEAN that shit.

I also would go further to express that, contrary to popular believe, being in love CAN, and for the purposes of a definition, is only one sided. HOWEVER...when you find that person you're in love with AND they feel the same, only then would I say it's a wrap. At this particular junction in your life, you've realized the rarest of the rare. You've found "true love." Time to go ring shopping...